I finally decide to choose between the two, yes after months of thinking and weighing things. I choose to leave Levi behind and be with Junuel.
It is the most selfless thing to do right now, it breaks my heart to leave my son and not to physically feel the warmth of his sincere kisses and hugs every day, but I am doing this for his good. For him to have a better future so he can have a house of his own and a comfortable living as well.
I will be Junuel for the coming months, we would be like a newlywed again, just the two of us. Don't get me wrong, I am happy that I will be with my husband it's just that I feel a part of me will not be normal again without Levi on my side.
Surely there will be a lot of tearful nights, they say that "homesickness" will just be for a week or two and you will get use to it. I am not sure of it, yes there are YM and skype, but still I won't get to kiss my son, I won't be able to smell him, it will cold without his hugs at night.
Junuel assure me we will get Levi as soon as we manage to have a pass for him, but that will materials only after few months or even a year. I am hoping to survive this phase of our life, I pray to God for His guidance especially to my precious love, my Levi.
